We began in PART 1 by looking at the art of Letting Go and considering the challenge us all but actually realising that it is a skill we need to learn “Letting Go”, some statements I made where:
“Letting Go helps me to make the most of now and enables me to move on with people, it is not about what I have to get right, but more about can I let go to move upward”.
“The way we let go of the now determines our ability to take hold of what is coming around the corner. There are questions that would help us learn and let go, I would like to share a few thoughts that are produced by each. The questions that would serve us all well to ask each other and more than that ask ourselves.
- “Is there a fine line between control and influence? And how do you know the difference”
One of the challenges of Letting Go is the issues of “control” we focused on and which we will continue with to conclude the though
Becoming an influence
Now that we have established that control is in actuality a personal agenda or a set of expectations packaged at the expense of others, what then is influence? It is certainly not asking or seeing people taking on situations via delegation, but when they are not getting it or not doing things your way, interrupting them by taking the reigns away from them. This Is the behaviour of a control freak rather than that of an influence.
Influencers understand the importance of not robbing others of their experience which in turn allows them to grow. Trying to control every little aspect of life and the life of others does not work for any one.
Control robs you of the chance to truly live, to be truly alive, to be truly passionate, have you ever felt I wish I could be as passionate as others with God? Do you find you excuse yourself from apathy or lack of lustre due to time, our environment and situation keeping you so busy, keeping a handle on your selves that you convince yourself that you are not like that, but in truth it is control that has robbed you the freedom to be fully passionate in who you are..
We are not designers we are not to be Chief Executives or CEO’s of the universe overextending ourselves with the minute details of others lives this was not in the original plan.
Becoming an influence requires a commitment to maintain healthy boundaries with ourselves and with those we love
Try this, be honest with your self
• Identify key responses and behaviours within your day life that stem from control rather than influence
• Each time you are tempted to ‘control’, ask yourself ‘What am I afraid of loosing?
• What personal agenda am I trying so desperately to preserve?
• Actively manage what your life could be like if you would allow others the opportunity to own truly their own growth process and master their personal learning curves
• Commit to becoming an influence and exchange your stress, needless worry and fear with peace and joy
Let Go life will flow better!
One thought on “Let GO – part 2”
I like this Gareth. I have been concerned that people have not known the difference between influence & control, and the tendency to put everything in the ‘control’ bracket. Leaders are called to influence others, but often compromise their leadership out of fear of being misunderstood as being too controlling. Of course there are leaders who need to learn how to let go of control and learn what it means to intentionally influence.